What’s going on right now

I should start by saying that I am not in pain. And I’m very thankful for that. I used to say that on a scale of 1 to 10 this situation was a perfect 10 but I have downgraded it to a 9. I may get scared, upset and frustrated, but at least I’m not in pain. Phew.

At this point I have symptoms of weakness and paralysis in my hands/arms and legs. It all started in my left hand and arm and then spread to my right hand and arm and then my legs, so the hands and arms are affected the most.
What that means in my everyday life is that I struggle with a lot of little things (buttons and zippers are a nightmare) and everything takes longer. EVERYTHING takes longer. And I’m not the most patient person in the world… This is where it gets interesting though: I used to really rush through life and do as many things as possible at a time and that is just not an option anymore… I mean, right now! (I try not to use the phrase “not anymore”, and replace it with “not right now”. Nothing is final here!) So, doing even two things at once doesn’t work right now. And by two things I mean something basic like getting a Chapstick out of my backpack and putting it on, while walking… Now it’s: stop walking, put the backpack down, get the Chapstick, put it on, put the Chapstick back in the backpack, but the backpack on, continue walking. Which can be frustrating. Or an exercise and mindfulness. (I’ll get into the whole mindfulness thing at some point but right now I want to give you an idea of what’s going on.)
So back to my daily challenges, some things I really can’t do right now:
Eating with a fork and knife like a civilized person… It’s fork or spoon in the right hand and shovel it in. I’m okay with that, it’s more comfortable anyway.
Eating with chopsticks. That one was a little rough. Being lectured in a Japanese restaurant by a waitress who has likely never been to Japan on how Japanese food is eaten with chopsticks, was a little more than I could take. But that moment passed and like I said, I’m okay with fork or spoon.
(By the way, if anybody wants to invite me to a fine dining experience, I’m pretty sure I could still manage without making too much of a fool out of myself. So feel free!)
Typing with 10 fingers. I can only do that theoretically right now. I am dictating this blog and typing shorter things with two fingers. My middle fingers because they still extend the best. Which seems appropriate.

As for my legs, I can’t run right now and my usual form of speedwalking is a somewhat distant memory. And balance is a challenge, which really sucks because if I fall, I fall spectacularly, because my arms and hands can’t support me right now. I have only had one really bad fall though, it’s not like this happens all the time. And I’m working on my balance, good thing I’m a Pilates trainer (though currently unemployed).

So. I was going to write more about my occupational therapy and physical therapy and about life after Studio A Pilates but I’m out of time… As so often happens right now.

Health and happiness!

(originally written Oct 6th 2013)

Leave a comment


  1. Hey it works!

  2. Summer

     /  October 26, 2013

    yay wordpress! i have to say i laughed out loud while reading this. and that’s not neccesarily what i was expecting going in. but yes, there’s something beautifully poetic about the middle finger. and let’s go for gourmet food, right now!

  3. Go for it. Japanese food.

  4. It just occurred to me that it might be polite to respond to comments every once in a while… I’m so bad at this blogging thing! But I’m working on it.
    Thanks Blue, for testing the comments feature!
    And thank you Summer, for laughing!
    And thank you British Berliner for the “yay” and just… your positivity!


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