Feeling better… But…

Okay, so, when I feel better, I have to post it right away because you never know how long it’s going to last. Sigh.

Starting with the good news: I feel better.
I haven’t fallen in almost 5 weeks and the pain in my SI joints is a little better (Yay, Ibuprofen 600!). My back and my neck still hurt, no doubt related to the SI joints, but hey, one step at a time.
I’ve also noticed that I don’t get full body spasms at night if I sleep on my side, so I’m trying that… Not terribly successful though: I have a special neck pillow but when I lie on my side, my lower shoulder gets squashed, my arm falls asleep and I don’t know where to put my legs. So I’m not sleeping very well but… No spasms! Which seems important right now. And I’m sure I’ll get used to sleeping on my side.

But mostly I feel better mentally/emotionally. I feel like I want to be in control again and there’s things I want to do and things I can do and things to surrender.
I am very much looking for new apartment because my stubbornness is still getting me up to the fourth floor with no elevator but is that really necessary?
And I want to go to India. Because it’s warm and because there is an ayurveda clinic, where they have a lot of experience and some good results with MS, so it’s worth a try, right? And it’s warm.
And I’m doing a short kundalini yoga meditation, the sat kriya, every day.

But… I fell again. On Friday evening. Arrgh! After almost 5 weeks without a fall. I managed to delay the fall for a few seconds though. And instead of just crashing down, I kind of spiraled down and my chair and table broke the fall a little bit (creating bruises on the back of my head and my back… but anyway). So, I’m in more pain physically again. But to me the biggest impact of any fall was always emotional. It’s so discouraging and can feel so hopeless. And I’m not feeling that right now. I feel good about the fact that I was able to delay the fall for a few seconds and I want to talk to my physical therapist (I finally found a good one!) about that. Maybe it’s possible to use these few seconds to avoid falling altogether…

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