I need structure!

This blog is stressing me out! Not the point, is it?
I don’t know, there’s so much going on and by the time I get to write about it… it’s generally too much. I need structure (I’m German and blood type A, so one might have guessed…). So I’m going to try to write every weekend about the previous week.
And yes, I know, it’s Tuesday. So technically I’m a day late at my first attempt at structure. But… oh, give me a break.
Also, I have abandonded my 365grateful project. For now. Not because I don’t have things I’m grateful for but because I find it difficult to capture them in pictures. And it stressed me out. And I didn’t like how my blog looked. I may take it up again later.

But for now:

Week 22 of this blog
Week 115 of this situation
Weight: 50 kg / 110 lbs. (I’m so upset about this. I was up to 52 kg / 115 lbs. but after painful dental work and a stomach flu… what can you do.)
Last fall: 43 days ago
(I know, this kind of looks like Bridget Jones’s Diary but whatever. It’s all about content, right?)

So. I’m not going to get away with writing about last week only because it’s been a couple of weeks. I’ll try to be brief.
I wrote about my last fall, the one I kind of delayed but then fell anyway. I asked my physical therapist about working with that delay to avoid falling altogether. Her response was not encouraging: she said to avoid a fall one usually works with the arms and hands. And that’s not available to me because the paralysis in my arms and hands is pretty bad. Oh well, I’m just going to work on not falling at all.
After that last fall I’ve a few new and persistent pain spots: my left knee and right adductors. Also, my right SI joint and lower back and my whole neck still hurt from way back when. But over all the pain has gotten much better. I even forgot to take my ibuprofen the other day, which would have been absolutely impossible a few weeks ago.
My dental work… Well. For what I can only hope was the grand finale of this dental adventure, I had a total of four fillings removed, two on the right and two on the left. And I will never ever let a dentist do that again in one appointment because you know how when you’ve been to the dentist you like to chew on the other side for a while… Sigh. And one of the teeth on the left, I don’t know, he had to do more work than expected and the nerve got upset for a while. Also, I got temporary fillings and on the left side they connected two teeth with one filling. That probably makes sense for the stability of that temporary filling but in terms of whole-body-connectedness and osteopathy, it’s a horrible thing to do and quite possibly added to the fact that my various aches and pains have been so persistent. But hey, it was only for two weeks… Except then the lab broke one of my permanent inlays and I had to reschedule my dentist appointment for the following week. And my dentist was going to do the finishing touches a few days later… Except then I got sick and had to reschedule for this Thursday. So here’s hoping that my next blog post will be about the end of the dental adventure… Except I already know it won’t be but I will save it for next weekend.
Getting sick. Well, I had a cold with a stuffy nose, headache, a slight fever and an upset stomach. Very unpleasant (especially when added to the ALS symptoms). But thankfully it only lasted a week and only “cost” me 2kg/4lbs.
Something good happened, too. I’ve been looking into Ayurveda as a possible way to help/treat me.
(I’ve mentioned this before, Ayurveda, TCM or IMT. I ditched IMT for now because the IMT practitioner I went to in Munich… Well, it felt like she didn’t really want to treat me: I sent her an email with a bunch of lab results, asking for her opinion and advice, and she responded that she didn’t want to get ahead of my practitioners in Berlin and I should just do what they tell me. Okay then.)
So, I looked to Ayurveda, partly because it seemed like a good reason to go to India and after freezing my butt off in Canada for a month I really didn’t think I could handle a Berlin winter. Also, one of my (many) ex physical therapists had told me about an Ayurveda doctor in India who had experience and some success in treating MS. Close enough. So, I checked out this guy’s website and liked it and sent an email and called… But for some reason I could never get an answer or get the right person on the phone, it was weird. I looked at other Ayurveda clinic websites but didn’t like any of them as much. And then I realized that the MS-Ayurveda-guy’s website has a link to a practice in Nuremberg. I called there and found out that the MS-Ayurveda-guy himself would be visiting soon, so I made an appointment and went to Nuremberg for a day. It’s a four hour drive from Berlin, so not exactly close, but a lot closer than India!
It was amazing. First of all, the guy was much younger than I thought and… kind of hot. Wonderful smile. If he could just smile at me for a month, I think everything would be okay. I also really liked his manner and I very much trust his knowledge. I don’t know much about Ayurveda (yet) but clearly he does and what he said made a lot of sense and he seems to have a plan. In Ayurveda, they don’t treat diseases, they treat the person. Yay! So he will give me herbs and suggest a diet and oil treatments to strengthen my own personal nervous system and immune system. I like the sound of that! And I can do it all here in Berlin. Wait, what?! But I want to go to India! I was so disappointed. He said, I’d be welcome at his clinic in India of course but he would suggest doing it this way, starting the treatment at home and giving it a few months to see how it works before going on such a long and tiring trip. Very considerate. I thought about it for a few days and almost made up my mind to go to India anyway. Because… there’s no guarantee, is there? I feel energized and optimistic that Ayurveda will help me in some way but there is no guarantee. It may not work, I may never feel better than today. I thought that if I didn’t go to India now, I may never again have the opportunity. But then I talked to the practitioner from Nuremberg who is also helping and guiding in this process and she explained that because of my Vata constitution (more about that next week) I tend to want to do everything at once and right away and sometimes it’s better to stop myself. And they were really concerned that the trip to India could seriously weaken me, the long flight and well, India! And I think they are right. Honestly, I don’t feel strong enough for this trip right now. I really, really want to go but I don’t feel strong enough. The nice thing about my talk with the practitioner from Nuremburg was that she sounded confident that the Ayurvedic treatment would help me, stabilize me and then I could go to India later. So I want to focus on that, do my best to give this Ayurveda treatment a chance and see how it goes. It’s been very interesting and positive already. More about that this weekend, I promise.

PS: I’m looking forward to blogging every weekend because then my blog posts won’t be so damn long…

Previous Post
Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: