More structure, determination, and I’ve had it

Week 25 of this blog
Week 118 of this situation
Weight: 51 kg / 112 lbs.
Last fall: 9 days ago
Did my Physical Therapy exercises: 5 times (which is basically every day plus one PT appointment plus one day off)
Did my Occupational Therapy exercises: 5 times

You know that Stephen Hawking has ALS/Lou Gehrig’s disease, right? So, I could go on about how my brain is kind of like Stephen Hawking’s… But that’s not why I mentioned it. Someone told me that they read in his autobiography that after his diagnosis he was drunk for about a year and a half. Apologies to Mr. Hawking if this isn’t true. It certainly sounds reasonable. I was so sick and tired of everything this past week, heavy drinking sounded like a good option. Because being sick and tired of everything is utterly pointless in my situation. But so is heavy drinking, I guess, I didn’t do it. Yet.
Other than that it was a good week. I’m still going with that structure thing and I asked both my physical therapist and occupational therapist for a home training program. Which I then did everyday. Very pleased with myself. But (there’s always a but)… Maybe I was too determined and ambitious and wanting to improve. And almost started drinking because of that. I don’t know. I want to stick with the structure though and I’m determined to… enjoy myself. Enjoy the things I can do, rather than get upset over the other stuff. That’s a tall order. I’ll let you know how it goes.
I think I’m giving up on The Healing Code. I really don’t feel like doing it or even finishing the book.
That’s all.

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2 Comments

  1. Anastasia Platt

     /  March 25, 2014

    Hello my Anja.
    You mentioned your beautiful brain- by far the most important part of you- still in perfect working order. Stick with the things you can do and fuck the rest! There are so many wonderful things you can do. Be gentle and kind to my dear dear friend. I love you.
    Anastasia

    Reply
  2. anjaschuhmann

     /  March 26, 2014

    Anastasia,
    I love you too and I really appreciate your comment!
    But…
    My brain is not in perfect working order. If it was, I wouldn’t be having these symptoms.
    And… What are the wonderful things I can do? I mean it. I’m having a crappy time and I can’t think of anything, so please, help me out. But keep in mind that my hands, arms and legs are somewhat paralyzed. And I can’t talk for too long.
    Love,
    Anja

    Reply

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